Sunday, October 7, 2012

the post I've written in my head a million times

I've wanted to write about this topic for quite some time now, but never thought it was the right time. This is something that has gone on for many years and has affected my life in so many ways.

I haven't spoken to my parents in almost 4 years.  There is so much behind why we haven't and it would be far too much for me to write about on the blog. Through it all though, I've experienced so many different emotions. From feelings of anger, frustration, hatred, loneliness, jealously, and disappointment, to feelings of peace, love, happiness, and relief. Sometimes when I think about it, I don't know what to feel. Right now, though, my biggest feeling is frustration and sadness for Kaden.

Unfortunately, my parents have been missing out on the happiest time period of my life (coincidentally, the past 4 years). They've been missing out on a beautiful marriage Kirby and I share, and most importantly of all, the birth and life of their first grandchild, Kaden. As happy and fulfilled as our family of three is, it would be that much better with my extended family in it.

It is sad to think the time lost so far, especially Kaden's birth, can never be experienced by them. Kirby, Kaden and I made a promise that we will always support and respect one another and do everything we can to never let anything tear our family apart.

I am thankful for the love and support of my husband, family, and friends who listen to and help me through this. I hope that one day Kaden receives all the love and attention he deserves from his entire family.


Tami said...

Hugs to you Anna! I can't imagine how hard that must be!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

I'm so sorry to read this. It is their loss for missing out on Kaden and your family but that probably does little to ease the pain! Prayers for you!!

natasha {schue love} said...

Sending lots of love and support your way. I can only imagine how hard it must be to not have the relationship you deserve with your parents...especially being a parent now yourself. The good news is that you can break the chain and be loving parents to Kaden. Hopefully one day you can reconcile too!

katie ridings said...

Happy Three months, too cute :)

basebell6 said...

sending thousands of hugs and prayers!!!!!!! you are such a strong woman and i admire you so much!

Southern Wifey said...

im so sorry to hear this, maybe one day things will work themselves out, until then enjoy your life as a family of three and make sure everyday counts!

the sweet life of a southern wife

Rachel said...

I love you friend! You're an amazing mommy :)

Jenna E said...

Aw I am sorry to hear this. I am happy you have a supportive and loving husband to help you get through this xoxo
ps Kaden's hair is THE BEST

Kyndal said...

Hey Girl,
Trying to catch up on blog reading that I've been neglecting for, oh, nearly a month! My heart hurts for you reading this post. I'm so sorry that things are not right with your parents. I can't imagine the longing you feel to have them as a part of Kaden's life. I admire your strength and resolve to protect your sweet family. You and Kirby are starting a new legacy with Kaden; he is so blessed to have you as parents! Praying for God to work in this situation!

Paige said...

I am just catching up on my blog reading during nap time and I just want to hug you after reading your comment to me as well as this post. It is always so difficult when we come from a "shaky" family or situations. I want you to always remember that even if you and Kaden do not have the "entire" family love, the ones in your life will have the love power to outshine them all - as well as the love from God.

That is something that I always had a hard itme dealing with when I was single. Now that our family has grown, I know that she was just as loved before hand too.

Also, how stinking cute is that boy of your smiling in his photo? Ah. Melt my heart!